All Souls day

Today, the day after Halloween, we have our mishmash of religions rolled up into a day to remember those of our family and friends that have died.

Fortunately again, we have made another year without a personal addition to the list.

The point of the exercise is to keep the person alive in our minds, to remember them, for their lives to continue to have an impact and be a part of ours at least one day a year.  I have an album with all our people in it but it is packed away for the move so we will have to do something different for the kids this year.


There is one person who is more real to us in death than she was in life…  There was a girl killed on the road right by the highschool and her friends and family have made the pole near the site a memorial to her.  She was 18, her name was not published in the paper but it is on her pole so we know it but I’ll respectfully not publish it either.   It is a version of my name so I’m unlikely to forget.  The memorial is diagonally across from a traffic light we stop at every day on our trip to school and at some point last year the girls noticed and asked about it.  We talked about what happened and lessons learned on both sides.  They are all three extremely sad for a life cut short and also pretty upset for the person who hit her.  We have absolutely no idea what happened to the driver but she will not be the same either.

The thing is, that was not the end of it.  We see it every day.  Whoever is maintaining it is doing a very good job.  A good job in both that they are keeping it clean and updated for seasons and also keeping the awareness of their friend or family in the minds of others.  Who knows if they will ever know that there are 3 kids who consider this memorial nearly daily.  They send good thoughts to the family sometimes and wonder what she might have done if she were still alive others.  I do hope they find comfort in their efforts even if they never think it extends beyond themselves.

You know that learning happens all the time, things you don’t expect at times you don’t plan.  This girl is remembered, she is teaching, she is not alive but she is present daily.  That is my Dio de Muerto as well as my Monday to Friday.

If you lost someone this year I hope you find comfort and remember them today.


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One response to “All Souls day”

  1. Debra Manskey says :

    Hi Kate, thanks for a lovely post. Last year was my “annus horribilus”, losing four significant friends/surrogate family. This year was easier but in other ways harder.
    There was only one death, a friend in her mid-30’s who was felled much too soon by cancer. The hard part was not having my friends around to talk to and debrief with. It made me realise what big holes they left behind in my life.
    Take care


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