DOMA – where I get a touch political

In a brief break from my usual banter about kids eating cat food and kids being cute (not mutually exclusive) I feel that I have to say something about today’s decision by the Supreme Court.  I was not going to say anything really but NPR riled me up so I have a few things to say.  If you don’t want to read them no problem, come back tomorrow for something less opinionated~

First  this decision is not ‘ground breaking’ in my opinion.  It is not about the legality, morality, or anything about same gender marriage.  It is about if DOMA (defense of marriage act) is constitutional and I thought that act was unconstitutional from the very beginning. If the court upheld DOMA that would not have been groundbreaking either because it would have been a reversion to the court that ruled on Plessy v. Ferguson waaaaay back in 1896 and I HOPE we will not be going 100+ years backwards and repeating separate but equal .   As we see in Brown v Board of Education the court saw that separate but equal just did not work out well….  In my opinion DOMA was just the same sort of thing – it said that my marriage as declared legal by MN should be given more rights then a same gender marriage (legal as of Aug 1 in MN).  How is that different then saying I and my black neighbor should have different anything.  So, this is NOT GROUNDBREAKING but I understand how people love to say that.  This is a very reasonable decision that says equivalent things need to be equal under the law and I’m glad we are sticking what that precedent.


Second some political yabo is spouting that this will ‘hurt children’ and I feel like he is wrong in many ways;

1. This protects the children of current married gay parents because they are not given less under the law

2. He specifically said a kid needs a ‘mommy and daddy’ so I wonder what he does with widows or divorced parents or maybe the single mom that keeps the unplanned baby and either does not tell the biological father or he wants nothing to do with the kid.  I can’t even start to say how wrong the extrapolation of that statement is.

3. The undertone of his comment is that a same gender couple might abuse their child and personally I have seen zero proof that abuse is more likely.  I actually know a person who abused his daughter in the worst way  and I was at his wedding to a very nice woman (who divorced him and he is in jail as soon as she found out).  SO, I’m very against child abuse but until there is some real evidence that it is more prevalent with a same sex couple then I don’t want to hear that argument.


Third to all the people out there who think this is the supreme court supporting or making legal gay marriage they are incorrect.  The supreme court defended the rights of states to make laws on all things not reserved in the constitution and marriage is not in the constitution at all so it is a state right.  I’m all for states rights, that is one of the reasons I classify myself as a republican.  Some states will make it legal, some won’t.  If you don’t like the decision in your state move.


Personally I don’t care where or how people find happiness as long as it isn’t hurting other people.  Before someone says that a gay marriage hurts their marriage I would ask why and how because no other marriage really comes into play in mine unless we are saying “wow we are lucky to not be like that”, or, “wow they really have a great take on that – lets do it their way”.


The last thing I’ll say here is that I don’t buy that legal marriage and religious marriage need to be the same thing.  Lots of religions have different rules and if you are part of that religion it is your choice if you follow them or not and if you are not in that religion the rule is basically moot.  The US government is supposed to uphold the freedom of religion not the freedom from religion.  The religions against gay marriage can rant and rave just like they can about all the other things they don’t like.  I have no idea if my marriage is considered right according to any of the many many religions I’m not a part of but I’m not less married since it is a legal definition and Lars and I met the conditions set forth by New York (basically that we were sane, 18+ and not related) – paid our $50 and basically, bam, we were married.


This is a long and complicated topic but I think that the court is doing the right thing by letting gay marriage evolve and not letting society norm of the day squash it.


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