It has been 48 hours since life support has been removed from my Mother in Law so I think it is fair to say that she has passed on. .. According to my sister who specializes in cardiac care this is not that bad a way to go; without a respirator she would retain more and more CO2 and it is a natural suppressant so she would have likely fallen asleep. I also believe she was very well medicated for pain and while I have no idea if her spirit was there or already gone I hope it was peaceful.
If you have no idea what I’m talking about don’t feel alone, my MiL suddenly had a reaction to the chemo (chemo that we all firmly believed would suck but she would recover well from) and within 48 hours from the reaction she passed away. I suppose this falls into the category of both sudden and expected
My MiL was a nice lady. I can’t say I knew her very well because she lived in FL, but, I also never saw her flaws since I only saw her on vacation happy times. She was never any of the things people dislike about their MiL’s, she didn’t try and push me or judge my parenting and she kept the guilt to call or visit more to a very minimum. I think she was more scared of me then I was of her; she actually quit smoking because she believed I wouldn’t let her see Niamh if she smoked (I never said that btw) but I’m glad she had 2 smoke free years. She never got to meet Zoe but she saw plenty of pictures
Telling Niamh was difficult. We know she does not have a real concept of death but I think telling Niamh was how it would become real to Lars so we went with direct… I pulled all the good pictures I had and got them printed (real point was for the funeral) but we looked at them and told her that “this Oma” died. We did not do any euphemisms or ‘very sick’ etc so hopefully she won’t get confused. I tried to focus on letting her know that the grownups were going to be very sad and that was ok and she could come be by me if she was scared. I don’t really have the luxury of being too emotional because the show must go on and our particular show includes diapers, feeding schedules, emergency potty trips, and dora – not to mention putting this show on the road in under 72h.
Last night we invested in a good suit, two actually; it was buy one get one for $100 so I insisted we get a ‘wedding’ suit – hopefully it will balance out the funeral suit. We went out to eat and that’s about it – no packing got done, but, all travel arrangements are booked. Tonight I need to get it all together and into suitcases. Now its time to get to work and try and fit a weeks worth of work into today. (this was NOT the week to be sick, the only good part was that I was home for Lars)
PS. the picture at the top is my MIL when she visited 2 years ago Aug, I’ve always thought it was an awesome picture.
We have some truly expensive pans and while they are great in a variety of ways, they have a slight dome to the bottom. This does not bother me at all but it drives Lars crazy when stuff runs off to the side. MrMatt made a big hit with this pan, it fits the bill nicely 🙂 Thank you Matt!
a two for one deal picture. Pictured is an awesome book that came with a DVD that is the 8min long animated short Moongirl. This is very sweet because Niamh has a minor obsession with the moon and we sing her a Laruie Berkner song at bed time called ‘moon moon’
We have read this book, and watched the movie, about a dozen times so it is a big thankyou to Grandy!
The PJ’s in the picture are form Aunt Sinead. She found PJ’s in all the cousins sizes to wear on christmas morning. They are monkey themed and warm and cozy flannel. Sinead when on a PJ bender because this is just 1 of 3 pairs of PJ’s she gave Niamh. In the 3 weeks since chrismas Niamh has worn these atleast 3 times and she calls them her christmas Jamas.
Thank you anut Sinead!
This is an odd one to start with because Josie didn’t actually pick out the sweater… She got a cute shirt and skirt from CJ Banks but they were way too big so I returned them. I’ve held onto the gift card for ages and this year I was determined to use it in my gift card spree. I used my funds wisely, and, there was an awesome sale; this is but one of three new tops!
I really love this cardigan. It is a great neutral color, an interesting design, fits well, and is a great weight for layering. For some reason I have found I have about 3 long sleeve shirts so by adding sweaters I can wear my short sleeved shirts all winter. I think Josie might have even picked it herself (for me) if she saw it – Lars saw it on the rack and just said ‘wow, this is you!’ (in a very manly way Lars would like me to add). It was on the expensive side, but, the sales lady had a 25% off coupon and that made it very reasonable.
When I started pulling together pictures for this Picasa just came out with the new frames and stickers so I have bedazzled all my thank you posts.
So Josie, even though you didn’t actually choose the sweater, thanks for choosing a classic store with good work clothes options.
Over the ‘bad weekend’ I crystalized the theory that Zoe really likes to hold/pull hair for comfort. Niamh used to need to nurse in all upsetting or just new situations – this transitioned into her pacifier need but she really could handle the world much better if she was sucking on something. Zoe has no use for the nuk and when she is screaming about something she does not want to be nursed, she wants my hair in her fist. She also tugs on her own hair when she is drifting off to sleep.
I know hair holding is a natural tendency for babies but it is weird that to calm her down all I need is to take out my ponytail and let her get a handful. Sometimes it hurts but so long as she has a good handful it really doesn’t. I knew I was growing my hair out for a reason… I don’t know how this will transition, maybe she will be a nervous hair twirler? Who knows, but, it is fascinating to see the differences between Niamh and Zoe – this is just one of hundred of differences.
Other titles for this entry could be;
Lessons from Stephen King; always use cold water on blood
Zoe had a bad weekend
I’m choosing to focus on the positive with my choice of title – we did get quite a few things done around the house since we were under self-house arrest because we have no idea what is making Zoe spike 103 fevers. We were under the impression it was teeth but then Niamh got a very low grade fever on Friday so we played it safe and did not go to the event. By the way… I have 2 dozen 12th night gifts with awesome hand made gift tags and everything. Anyway, I was up at 3am on Friday so not really in the best mood for an event anyway.
The Zoe drama continued on Sunday when on a Tylenol high she was playing in the living room and all of a sudden a pain cry! Lars can’t hear this distinction but I can and I go over and see nothing wrong at all but she is screaming like crazy. I saw two tiny spots of blood on the carpet and knew something was bleeding. I checked her fingers, mouth anything and then I pick her up and blood flows all over my pants and Niamh puzzle. It was her foot, there was a clean yet gushing cut on the bottom of her poor rashy foot. Direct pressure and snuggle and then to the bathroom to clean up etc but not until we found the offending object. It was a mystery, the floor was really pretty clean with only a puzzle and a baby toy out but then I spied a shard of glass… We did have a glass break on the other side of the room last week, I cleaned and vacuumed but this must have just embedded itself in the carpet and lay in wait for my babies foot. My first reaction was “Wood floor! now! Rip up this horrid carpet!!!” (it has blood on it anyway) but rationally the real next step was to fix the foot. All through this you can imagine Niamh wanted to help and was very worried for Zoe – we sent her on random errands to keep her busy; alot like the ‘go boil water’ for a birth… she fetched tissues and baindaids and was very good in a crisis telling us all to ‘be calm’. Anyway, the cut was very minor really and we invested in some skin glue because no band-aid in the world seems to stay stuck to a babies foot. After she was calm and bandaged she was right as rain and I taught Niamh all about how to clean blood. She was very impressed by peroxide and she was glad to get her puzzle clean (it was a concern she admirably suppressed voicing until after the foot was fixed). So we now have a clean carpet and a pretty clean puzzle and a hopefully clean pair of yoga pants and a 2year old with a working knowledge of blood stain removal.
Zoe was not herself all weekend but we did have good points and got lots done. We changed all the sheets in the house, put away all the hanging laundry, did 4 loads of laundry, put up the wall art my parents gave us for christmas, and, started the major project of getting Niamh her own room. This project means that the guest room gets turned into Niamh’s room so the big bed and the garb need to go somewhere. That somewhere will be the ‘other’ room that is full of fabric, gifts (for others), more garb and every random thing we don’t know where to put. About half the stuff (the fabric we decided) will go down-down stairs into the closet there that totally random stuff have been stored for years. I was pleasantly surprised that none of the caches of junk was really all that bad and after 40min of work I have one entire shelf of fabric moved from one room to the other. All this moving means something must move OUT so here is my craigs list posting; http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/wsh/hsh/2163690441.html I think I did a nice job marketing and the pictures took me 10 min to do but I think they really sell the product. I always wish people were clear about what something did/held/how it worked so I tried to make a post I would like to read. Anyway, friend price is better if you are interested.
Niamh wants a “princess room” and I think that means she wants decals of princesses on her walls – slightly better then a Dora room but not alot. I have a really cute plan from a friend who is a designer to do pink strips but I just don’t want to pour a ton of time into paint treatments that we would need to overpaint if we put the house up for sale in a few years (no plans for that, but, this isn’t our forever house). So, after many episodes of HGTV color splash and designed to sell I think I can get away with painting the room a bright gray and accenting with princess stuff. Easy to change hopefully. We really can’t do too much until the electrition comes and removes the extra breaker box in the room and we fix the hole that leaves in the wall but that is in the near future. Hopefully next weekend I can get more done but I’m pleased that I got so much done this weekend because I was expecting to get nothing done.
So today I’m home with a sick Zoe – she is alot better and actually not even feverish so hopefully she can go back to school tomorrow. We have a dr apt at 1:45 – just in time for her to be better. Oh well, I would rather her be better. I’m trying to work from home too, less easy with a crawler, and I don’t want to ignore her for the laptop.
Update on the daycare situation – jury is still out on most things but we are waiting and seeing at the moment.